Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How do other Mothers do it?

I can't really describe the "it" that I am referring to in this blog post, but I think you all know what I mean. It. You know, it! I guess "it" refers to everything done well. Because I am having one of those days when I don't feel as if I am doing anything well.

I woke up exhausted. Maybe it was from the middle of the night feedings, maybe it was because my back is still killing me(long story,) or maybe it was because I feel like I am running on empty. I don't know why I woke up so tired, but I did. Then my entire morning was spent changing one diaper, changing another diaper, feeding one child, playing with another child, burping one child, reading to the other child.... by the time Rob came home for lunch I hadn't even thought about lunch, much less made anything. So we had Taco Bell. Disgusting. I couldn't even muster up the energy to feel guilty about feeding Bennett artery clogging junk smothered in Taco sauce.

After lunch I fed the other child, played with Bennett, changed more diapers, and then realized that I hadn't showered. Oh, well. I had errands to run. I manage to get both dressed, more diapers changed, more diaper bags packed, and into the car. We stop in this really cute little bakery to get some baked goods for my parents upcoming visit. It is too small for the double stroller so I let Bennett walk and I carried Will in his car seat.

I manage to squeeze in this tiny bakery ahead of Benentt and I tell her to come inside. She lets the door shut. On her fingers. Crap. She is screaming and I am panicked. After scooping her up and trying to quiet her wails, I see the blood everywhere. I am so freaked out about her that I don't notice the 6 other kids in the room that are hunched over Will's car set that I left on the floor poking him the eyes. The bakery ladies were nice but annoyed that I have a wailing infant that has become a sitting duck for every other child in the room and a screaming one year old who has left blood all over their store. I am in jeans, a ratty T-shirt, and my hair is up in a dirty pony tail. I am pretty sure there is spit up all down the back of my shirt.

And as I stand there I see all these other women looking at me scornfully. They have children as well and somehow they have managed to pull themselves together. They actually have jewelry on. Impressive. And lipstick. Wow, what is that? Their kids have shirts that are tucked in. Their kids aren't bleeding all over the floor.

So my question is, how do they do it? Seriously, because I obviously need to know. And I need to stop blogging because Will needs to be fed again, I think I smell a dirty diaper, and Bennett has pulled off her Elmo band aid and is yelling from the top of the stairs because she has locked herself in a room.

I obviously do not have "it." And maybe I will shower tomorrow. Oh and Bennett is fine. It scared her more than anything, but she did slice her finger pretty badly. And Will has recovered from the hordes of kids surrounding him and poking him. I will never leave his car seat on the floor of a store unattended again. Maybe. Depends on how much "it" I have that day.

****UPDATE*** I finished this blog post at 3:20 pm knowing that I had 40 minutes to compose myself and possibly (gasp) shower before my 4:00 chiropractor appointment. At 3:45, my chiro's office called wondering why I was late for my 3:30 (!!!) appointment. Can you say train wreck? I flew out the door, got adjusted, and now I am back and it is dinner time. I have no idea what to make tonight and I haven't been grocery shopping in 2 weeks. I give up on today. As my dear Scarlett always reminds us, "After all, tomorrow is another day." ***


Andrea said...

Oh man, what a day! I can't believe that the other mothers didn't rush in to help!! I know I would have.

Want me and Clara to come over for a bit tomorrow morning to feed and diaper and entertain the masses while you get a few minutes of Mommy time? (aka, a shower or a nap?)

Unknown said...

Girl I feel your pain! I never feel like I have it together. I have to just constantly remind myself that it's just the season of life I'm in right now. As the kids get older it will get easier and better. :-) And, Ella and I eat Taco Bell (and other various kinds of junk food) all the time...you mean that's not ok? ;-)

pokey said...

Oh Lauren! How I have been there...
First a word of advice about having two. When you have a newborn, forget "it." The IT that these other moms (may or may not) have doesn't come till you're done waking up in the middle of the night, have some semblance of a schedule and can sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Second, there is no real "it." You just seem to notice everyone else when your day has gone to the crapper. It ALWAYS looks better from the outside.

Give yourself a break and some slack. It's super hard being a mommy. Bennet isn't going to die from eating taco bell for lunch. She won't even remember eating it.

Take a deep breath, focus on putting one foot in front of the other and when your day comes to have "it" all together, you can be a gracious woman who helps the other mom instead of looking scandalized!!!


Brittny said...

Ok, not that I have "it" all together myself, but "it" wasn't within 30 miles of me the first year after either child was born. I didn't bother with makeup, showered very rarely and just decided to give a hoot about anything and everything other than making it to bed without anyone on my hip as I crawled into bed. Actually, I still don't do most of those things. Except now I end up falling asleep in Christopher's bed instead of my own some nights. So, don't worry, "it" will come back and visit you soon! Oh, like when your parents come. That usually helped me find "it".

Carmen & Eddie said...

As for those other moms- SHAME ON THEM!!!! We have all been there in some form or other. You have an even bigger challenge with 2 BABIES!!! And obviouly they did not have such good control over their kids, because if they had- they would NOT have been poking at Will!!!! If I was there Spanish Fury would have pullked out a can and let them all have a taste!!!
I am not even dealing with VInce out of the womb... just Sebastian and showers are a luxury, make-up is only applied when my mother in law or hubby(whoever is staying with Sebastian) is present and I can close the bathroom and quickly apply to go to Dr's or whatever function we are headed to... You, my friend, are doing a marvelous job raising your 2 precious little ones!!! DON'T FORGET THAT!!!

The Khans said...

I agree with everyone. None of us really have "it" together even if you think they do. I can barely get it going before 9am which is hard since Nicholas starts preschool next week. All in due time, but who really cares as long as the kids, you and your hubby feel loved.

Erin said...

I was just thinking about this very thing today when I read your blog post!! I have been going through the same thing this week especially. I honestly believe that when you are dealing with chronic pain on top of everything else, it just makes things so much more difficult and I know I myself lose perspective in the midst of it all. Hang in there and know you are not alone!!! We are all crazy!!! Wish I was there to help you...., or at least enjoy a nice shot (or several shots) of espresso with you! Love you :)