Thursday, July 30, 2009


Well, this stinks. I don't know how else to phrase it. I'm home, but I am in so much pain. Last night was awful. I fell out of the bed on the floor and couldn't move. I didn't realize how much having a hard hospital bed with rails helped me. I hurt so much every time I tried to move in my bed with the soft mattress. Today has been rough. My Mom, sister, and nieces are here an I have been looking forward to their visit more than I can say. I had meals planned and so many fun activities- now they are all at a children's farmstead and I am on the couch. My mom stayed with me, but I am so sad that I wasn't able to join them. Also, I can't be on heavy pain meds because I am nursing Will, so all I am taking is Ibuprofen. They gave me heavy medication at the hospital which is why I was doing better. I think I am hurting so much worse today because I am not on any medication.

I don't mean for this blog to be a rant or a vent for me. All I can say is thank you for your prayers and I humbly ask you to continue them. I can't lift Bennett. I can't rock her or put her to bed. I can't feed her. Someone has to hand me Will and only then can I hold him. I can't dress myself. I would give anything right now to be out with my family who I haven't seen in months, but I can't. And I guess just mainly pray that we find a diagnosis. We still don't know what's wrong and so therefore, there is no course of action.

But to make me feel better I am posting a sweet picture of my kids that my friend Mary (who has been a saint!!) took on her iphone while she was watching them for us.


Anna said...

oh sweet friend, i'm so sorry for you! i hope they can get to the bottom of this soon! what about percaset (sp) or darvaset (sp). i think that's what i took in the hospital right after i had addie. wasnt morphine but certainly was stronger than ibuprofen!

i love the picture of will and bennett. and i love seeing bennett do things that addie does! oh how i wish we were closer! i have a picture of addie at her cousins in that very same seat happy as can 15 months of age!!! she's also pretty fond of the bumbo her cousin's using here at the beach. pretty funny how they love to play with "baby" gear!

miss you and praying for quick healing and ease of pain! love and hugs!

Carmen & Eddie said...

Do you have any plans to see any sort of specialist (I do not know what medical field specializes in this but there has to be one)? We continue to pray for your speedy recovery, for the Dr's wisdom, and for your family as a whole- that Rob gets the rest he needs to be able to take care of you guys. We love you!!!

Kara said...

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I know it must be so frustrating not knowing what is wrong, but hopefully they will find out something soon. Give my love to your mom, Lisa, and the girls. I hope you are still able to enjoy their visit. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!

Christine said...

You should look on to see what kind of stronger pain medications are suitable for nursing. It sounds like the doctors that were working with you aren't educated on breastfeeding and pain medications. You can definitely take something stronger than ibuprofen and shouldn't have to be in that much pain. Try calling your obgyn or Will's pediatrician and he should be able to tell you what would be safe. So sorry you are going through this!!

Lauren W said...

Christine- Thanks for the web address. I am going to go check that out now. The problem is that is has to be an anti-inflamatory drug. They had me on morphine and oxycotin in the hospital and they didn't do anything for the pain- just made me loopy and sleepy. :-) I will look now to see if there are stronger drugs to relax the muscle.

And Carmen- I am starting physical therapy at 7:15 in the morning.

Anna- love you too, and yes, she loves all of her baby things once again. Funny, huh?

Kara- I will tell them and I am praying for you tomorrow.

Erin said...

Dear cousin,
Sometimes there just are no words that you can say to explain how frustrated you are (and rightfullly so), and no words that anyone can say to make you feel better. If I were with you right now, I would just wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug. We continue to pray daily for you. We love you!

Stacy said...

Argh! Don't you hate it when you have a picture in your mind of how things are going to go and then you end up on the floor instead?!? Wipe away all the ideas you had about our visit. We can cook, clean, lift, do a funny dance to entertain you. We can even stay home if you're ready to just "chill with Will." Let us know -- our feelings will not be hurt.

Another thought -- you might want to ask your doc about a mother's milk bank. You could get on some morphine, feel better, keep pumping to keep up the supply but dumping to keep Will from becoming a cute, tiny druggie, and then resume breastfeeding in a week?

We love you and hope you feel better soon!

Courtney said...

OMG! I have been sort of busy for the past week or so, and not checking in. Looks like I missed a lot. I am praying so hard for you. I know being hospitalized is a nightmare, and I can only imagine with a 4 week old at home!
I am thinking of you, my sweet friend. I hope the pain is better soon.
On a side note....YAY. Blankets!