Sunday, March 17, 2013

The things I love (and hate) the most about living in the South

We'll start with the good, shall we? And then end with the three things that make me want to pack my bags and move to New Zealand.

In no particular order: The Good

1. Azaleas- I forget every year how much I love azaleas and then it is spring again and yards are covered with these beautiful and colorful flowers. You could also add Magnolia trees to this list. They remind me of Easter Sundays, Jasmine Hill gardens (where I grew up going to see plays) and beautiful Southern lawns. Love them.

2. The food- Boiled peanuts, sweet tea, cheese straws, cornbread patties, meat and three's, custard pie, grits, okra, fried green tomatoes, sugar cured ham, potato salad, and buttermilk biscuits. I could go on, but I have to stop typing now and head over to my fridge for a minute. Excuse me.

3. Mild winters-  I've lived in Northern Virginia, Kansas City, and East Tennessee. I've spent winters in New York City and in the mountains of Montana. I have seen a whole lot of snow. I have shoveled a whole lot of snow. I have hydroplaned on patches of ice. And I will be fine with 60 degrees in January for the rest of my life.

 4. Yes m'am and Yes sir-  I have been told that outside of the deep South, nobody says this anymore. I don't care. It's polite, it's respectful, and I like it.

5. Everyone knows your Mom and them- Lyrics from a Scotty McCreary song, but so true. I really think I might have 6 degrees of separation with most people in the state of Alabama. If you meet anyone and talk long enough, you will find a connection. And that's awesome.

6. Smocked dresses and applique- Not for everyone. Totally get that, but I love it and I am glad I live in a place again where it is the norm instead of the exception.

And now, in a very particular order: The Bad. I will end the worst. Possibly the worst thing of all time.

3. Pollen- I forgot how terrible it was. My car is covered, my patio is covered, and I have to clean my porch swing twice a week to get all the icky yellow stuff off. My outdoor rocking chairs don't like it and neither do my sinuses.

2. Fire Ants- The chiggers were bad in the midwest, but I might prefer them to these huge red mounds of terrible little bugs that populate every lawn in the South in the summertime.

1. Roaches- Surely Noah did not put two of these on the ark, right? He couldn't have. I really think that they were created in some test tube in a lab sometime in the 20th century with the sole intent of terrifying Southern females. That is the only reason possible I can think of for their existence.


Anonymous said...

Oh, that was fun.

starnes family said...

I said "yes ma'am" earlier today and I thought people were going to have a heart attack.

The humanity!