How to Break a Mother's Heart

Bennett has been through a lot of changes recently. It started with us boxing up her nursery for a few days before we moved and it has gone on and on for about 2 weeks now. I think she has been a trooper, but yesterday was just a little too much.

If any of you reading this know Bennett, you know that she is a very laid back kid. She rarely fusses, adapts easily, and is generally just so easy going. At Frazer she was in the nursery every Sunday for 6 hours since both Rob and I worked and we never once had a problem. In fact when we picked her up after being in there all day, the workers would always say that they wished every baby could be like her.

So, I didn't expect any problems yesterday for her first day at her new church. Let me start by saying that it's huge! And I'm used to huge, but this is really really huge. Not only was Bennett having a hard time, but I was as well. I was walking through the atrium and I knew nobody. That is to be expected of course, but it made me homesick. I missed Frazer and my relationships there. I can't walk 5 feet at Frazer without seeing a familiar face.

But anyway, we make it though the incredibly crowded nursery and take her to her new room. Let me say that she was the only kid there in a smocked dress. My little southern girl may need a new wardrobe soon. At Frazer she is their Bennett and they love on her and hold her and know exactly what to do with her. At COR, a very nice but busy teenager just took her and she was gone. No instructions, no good-bye hug, no reminder that she loves her paci, she's just gone.

I am in the service (which I loved by the way!) for approximately 15 minutes when the nursery called. Bennett was inconsolable. Not just sniffing for Mom, but uncontrollable racking sobs. I fly to the nursery and find her in someones lap barely able to breathe because her whole body is shaking. If anyone knows my daughter, this is not Bennett.

I thought about it all day. I wondered what happened. I held her for the longest time. She was absolutely fine once she saw me, but her body kept shuddering for about half an hour. We concluded maybe the change had finally gotten to her. Maybe she missed Mrs. Diane at Frazer. Maybe she was tired, but it broke my heart. It made me even more homesick. But we'll try again next week.