Maybe I should change the title of this post because I don't know what is harder. Growing up or watching them grow up.
Tonight the kids I chose a book to read to Lainey at bedtime. I pulled out one of my favorites, Night Night Little Pookie. I knew that Bennett would be so excited to read it because it had always been our special book. But when I looked at her she had a blank look on her face. I said, "Bennett! Surely you remember this book! We read it every single night when you were little." But she didn't. She didn't even remember the last page of the book. Pookie's Mom tucks him into bed and she says. "Night Night little Pookie" and Pookie responds, "Night Night little Mommy."
Bennett and I said that to each other every single night for a year or so. I don't know when we stopped. I don't know the last time we said it to each other, but for some reason I am so sad that she doesn't remember.
She will turn 5 in a few weeks. I can't believe it. That means this blog is over 5 years old as I started it when I was pregnant with B. Five. That sounds old. And it is. She is a little girl now. She's not a baby or a toddler. She's a little girl.
I miss her as a toddler though. I miss those two little pig tails. I miss her dragging her sippy cup everywhere and saying in a high pitched voice, "More joooce, kay?" I miss her running after me every time I walked out of the house demanding hugs and kisses. I miss snuggling with her every night in her glider and reading Knuffle Bunny.
She got a blue ribbon today at gymnastics and I was so sentimental seeing these tall and lean girl complete an arabesque on the balance beam. And that was before the book tonight.
Sigh..... Motherhood is constantly teaching our children new things, but then learning how to say good-bye to the stage you have just guided them through.
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