I took Bennett to the mall this week. She wanted to have a special Mommy/daughter day and so I obliged. We went to the merry-go-round. She got three rides on her favorite horse. Then I took her to the Disney store. She played for a long time with all of the toys there. I bought her a special Ariel figurine that dances with prince Eric (who is her boyfriend by the way.) On our way out we stopped at the cookie place and she and I split a peanut butter cookie. Perfect morning, right?
WRONG! She started screaming on our way out. "I WANT TO RIDE HEM-OR-REE!!!"
** Hem-or-ree stands for Henry. Every horse is named Henry. My daughter is special.**
I explained to her that she already rode Henry three times. She flung herself on the floor of the mall. I acted like she wasn't mine, but the red hair gave me away. I told her that I had bought her an Ariel toy. She didn't care. I showed her the cookie crumbs all over her mouth. No luck. She was devastated that I wouldn't let her have a 4th turn on Hem-or-ree.
I finally got her in the car and calmed her down. As we drove home I felt myself getting so annoyed with her. Hadn't I done enough? We had a special day filled with treats, surprises, and special time together. Yet it wasn't enough. That meant nothing to her. She wanted more.
The it struck me. That's how I talk to the Lord all the time. Lord, I want more! Yes, I have a great house, but I want hardwood floors. I love having a two story house, but I don't have iron spindles on my stair case. Iron spindles, really? Did I seriously have the audacity to be bummed because I didn't have iron spindles? The answer that humbles me is yes, I did. I always want MORE!
When I think about it like that, I feel so ashamed. I am far worse than my daughter. Sometimes I can't see the blessing right in front of me because I am too busy looking at what I don't have. And I have enough. I have so much more than enough. In fact, God has blessed us far beyond the point of necessity. I have a huge basement that we rarely go in and how many people in Haiti are living in tents? Just my basement alone would be a mansion to them.
How can I complain about my lack of funds for new clothes when there are people less than 30 miles from my house that don't have shoes and winter is fast approaching? How dare I complain? How dare I feel like I am lacking anything? I have clean water to drink, clothes to keep me warm, and enough food to eat. That alone with no other added luxury should be enough in of itself. When is enough enough?
My daughter teaches me more on a daily basis than she will ever know.
Philippians 4: 11-13 "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."
The ghosts that haunt us
8 hours ago