Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Why I don't like healthy people

Well, actually I do like healthy people. I suppose they are better than unhealthy people. So maybe I should say that I don't like people who exercise. Wait a minute. I do have some very lovely friends who exercise. I guess I need to change this post to "Why I don't like people who exercise outdoors." Yes, that needs to be the post. See, I'm from Alabama. There's a reason why we are the 49th fattest state in the Union. And that's also the reason why I am so not used to runners and bikers everywhere. I barely remember a time in Montgomery when I almost ran over a cyclist. If I ever came close to clipping a jogger, I can't remember it. But today, I almost hit 20 people. Seriously. Where did they come from? And really, do the cyclists need to wear bright yellow outfits at 3:00pm? it's not like I can't see them under the glare of the midday sun.

Anyway, it's crazy here. And I don't know the rules. When a cyclist is stopped beside me at a light, do I go first or do they? If we are both turning right, who has the right of way? It's scary. And I am not exaggerating when I say that I really almost injured multiple people today. Can't they just to go a gym far away from crazy Toyota Sienna's such as mine? I don't think I am going to do much damage to a treadmill with my monster van. I don't like it. And I am going to sit here and eat a cookie and stew about how much my insurance almost went up today. Oh yeah. And the fact that I almost hurt people. That's bad too.

3 comments:

Dawn said...

Lauren, speaking as a cyclist, I don't like CRAZY Toyota Siennas! =) That is why I only ride on bike trails around here. I don't ride on the roads at all - and I can't understand those that do. It is so dangerous! But exercising out in God's creation is wonderful!

Lauren W said...

You are right, my friend. I actually love being outdoors with the kids. But we walk!! Not cycle in the middle of the road. And I probably would cycle more if I hadn't learned to do it when I was 21. I am not even safe on trails. No, a stationary bike at the gym is the best solution for me. :-)

Matt said...

I, too, must admit that I have an aversion to cyclists on roadways. Of course, we don't really have a problem with joggers in Montgomery, but the birds and squirrels have started acting rather...shall we say...suicidal. :)