Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Trainwreck

Y'all, I am losing my mind. I mean I am a total and complete trainwreck. I will post soon about my one month (!!!!) old baby, her first bath, and of course, Halloween. But until then I have to share how I am missing entire lobes of my brain.

It has gotten so bad that if I think of something I need to tell Rob, I write it down immediately because if I don't tell him within 5 seconds of it passing through what's left of my brain, I have forgotten it completely. So now I have a legal pad I carry with me at all times that says things like, "Do we have dog food?" I am not kidding. And I am also not kidding when I say that I had to stop writing this post to Google "Yellow paper pad" because I could not remember that it was called a legal pad.

Lainey and these two moves have taken what few brain cells I had left. So let me present to you just a handful of things I have done this week. If I shared with you the entire list, you would all be on the phone with Child Protective Services to have my children removed from my care immediately.

-My friend is having a baby boy. A BOY! I knew this. I was a hostess for her shower. The theme was blue and white. With footballs. I knew HIS name was Trey. And what do I do? I wrap her gift in a pink bag with pink tissue and buy her a pink card. And the crazy thing I didn't even realize my mistake for days. Not even when I set the pink bag in the sea of blue presents. There's my sad little pink gift stuck between the two huge blue boxes. Nice.

-Bennett got invited to a Halloween "not quite a sleepover" party from these sweet twin girl in her class. I talked to the girls' Mom to RSVP. It was not a birthday party. Got it. Just a Halloween party where the kids would wear Halloween pj's and watch a movie. Noted. Guess who went out and bought two birthday gifts for the twins and sent them to the Halloween party? And guess who was the only parent who did this? Yup. Me.

-Nearly every single day since Lainey has been born I have forgotten which car seat was in which car and I always leave the house with her with the wrong stroller to go with the wrong base. Every time.

And I won't even get started on how all of my closed toed shoes are still in a box in our garage that I can't find so I am the idiot in 45 degree weather wearing sandals. I get in the car and forget where I am going. I hear Lainey crying and I don't know what room she is in. I could go on and on.

 But it's pointless. My brain cells are gone. And yet my children are clothed every day and haven't missed a meal yet.

My dog, on the other hand, is a different story.

1 comment:

Brittny said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh my dear friend I feel for you! I remember when I was pregnant with my first I couldn't remember what you called those things that you cook food in... you know, the round things that you can hold onto with a handle thingy... Someone looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Pots and pans." I almost hugged her because she knew what they were called. Now take your legal pad (I wouldn't have remembered the name and I'm not pregnant) and write down, Tell Rob to find closed toe shoes. Then remember how much we all love you for posting things like this and making us laugh and realize we are normal. Love you!!!!!!!