Elliot

I have had a really hard time updating my blog since I returned home from Elliot's celebration service. I don't have the words, which is unusual for me. One of her dear friends blogged so eloquently about the services, so I will link to her blog here. She summed it up far better than I ever could.

I did get a picture of all of the 2nd cousins while we were at the church. These are the great grandchildren of Pat and Polly Patterson. 

The children wrote notes after the service and attached them to balloons to send to Elliot in heaven. probably not the most theologically correct concept, but it was something the kids could really grasp. My kids have talked about it non stop. It really made an impression on them. Here are the notes my kids wrote.

Sending the balloons to heaven.

And then on our drive home Bennett drew a picture of it on her etch a sketch. This brought tears to my eyes to see how much it impacted her.

It was an extremely difficult few days. It still is. I miss Elliot so much that my heart aches. I can't imagine moving back to Alabama in just a week and her not being there. There is no way I can delete the text messages from her. The last one I received was just a month before her death and it simply said, "I love you so so much, Lolly Pop."

She was so loved. SO loved. We got to her visitation half an hour before it began at there was already a line forming. My sister and I left 4 1/2 hours later and there were still 75 or so people waiting to speak to the family. The words people said about her were so moving. Elliot would not have wanted any of this to be about her, but rather about the glory of God. She wanted her cancer to honor her precious Jesus. And it did. And it still does.

I know I will see Elliot again. I know that in a blink of an eye we will be reunited again along with the rest of our family. But for now, it still hurts. Horribly. I still feel like this is a nightmare and we are going to wake up and Elliot will be laughing with her family and holding her children tightly again. 

I have so much more to say. But I can't say it. The hurt is deep. But the hope is eternal. 

"So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord."  2 Corinthians 5:6-8 

I have hundreds of pictures of Elliot on my computer. I wanted to share just a few of the bright, beautiful, loving, and amazing woman that I knew.

I always loved her relationship with her sister, Erin. Elliot was her protector and biggest cheerleader from Day One. 

Us four Granddaughters were extremely close growing up. I always felt like I had three sisters instead of one. There will forever be a hole in our family due to the loss of one who cannot be replaced.

She was an incredible wife and Mother. I don't know of many people who wanted to be a Mom more than Elliot and she cherished every second of it. And I love these last shots of her. This was Elliot as a little girl watching over her baby doll and then a picture of her from just last January watching over her namesake- her niece Ellison.

I love you always, Ellie!!! I will forever be grateful that God chose me to be your cousin. I miss you so incredibly much. -Lollie Pop.