In case of an emergency- don't call me.

In college my friend and I decided to branch out from our normal collegiate productions and audition for an actual community theatre play. Yes, that's right. Carson-Newman couldn't hold us back. After dozens and dozens of call back rounds, we were cast as the Cupp sisters in the highly acclaimed production of "Pumpboys and Dinettes" produced by the esteemed Morriston Theatre Guild. Okay, only 5 people tried out and we were all cast. But it was still good, I tell ya. Cupp sisters 4-evah!

If you missed it, well then I just feel sorry for you. It was high art at its finest.

I digress. One night during rehearsal, the cast was sitting above a store front pondering the differences between Stanislavski and Meisner. All of a sudden, I caught a whiff of a nice pine smell. It was nostalgic and warm. It prompted me to say, "It smells like Christmas in here."

Five minutes later we realized that the entire building was on fire. My stupidity was later recorded for all eternity in The Morristown Gazette as, "One local actor was quoted as saying 'It smells like Christmas in here,'" as the entire building burned down. Not my finest moment.

Two nights ago I woke up to Rob saying the words nobody ever wants to hear. He turned to me at 2:15am and said, "Lauren, get up. The house is filled with smoke."

I had flashbacks. Did it smell like Christmas? I decided that it didn't. I ran and checked on the children. Their rooms were smoky, but no open flames. I searched, but couldn't find anything. So, I did what any normal person would do. I decided to think about what three things I would rescue.

You've all done it. You've all asked the question of what you would save if your house was on fire. So as Rob frantically ran around the house trying to find the source of the smoke, I was thinking- Hmmmm..... scrapbooks? Which dog? Bennett's new comforter? Maybe our Tivo. I've got some great episodes of LOST saved on there......

We couldn't find the smoke making culprit (maybe because John Locke can't escape the island) so we called the fire department. Then as Rob was helpfully showing them around the house, I was updating my status update on facebook telling the world that there were firemen in my house.

It turned out fine. Smoldering HVAC motor in our basement. The result was a smokey house, a terrible smell, a sleepless night, and a bill to a repair man that I don't want to talk about.

But I was thinking today- What would you do in a crisis? I have realized that I think fire smells nice, I think about what to rescue, and I update facebook. I am acknowledging that I may not be the best person to have around in an emergency. I pray that nobody around here has anything serious happen. God forbid that Bennett breaks a leg and I decide to update Twitter first.