Still heavy

My heart is still heavy tonight. I sat down to blog about the kids as usual. I wanted to blog about Bennett now speaking in full sentences (Where did Daddy go? I found it, Mommy!) and I wanted to blog about my sweet Will's 6 month check-up. But I can't. Not yet anyway. I am still too burdened about Haiti.

I can say that I sat in the middle of Will's check-up and cried. Not because he was getting shots, but because I was too upset thinking about the children suffering as I sat there. I was so happy that my boy was so well fed and that he was getting vaccinations and it hurts me beyond belief that there were children dying from lack of food and medical care as I sat in a nice and clean waiting room. The senior pastor at our church wrote a note about Haiti this week. I am including part of what he said. Fair warning- it is extremely disturbing. This was taken from an e-mail sent by a missionary who had already been in Haiti when the earthquake happened.

The injured just keep coming and coming into the compound--I'm doing all I can to help--cleaning blood off of them so the medical team can assess damage. Thank goodness we had an orthopedic surgeon on our team, as well as a GP. I have watched literally dozens of legs, arms, and feet be set by using plywood splints. I had a little boy, about 8, die in my arms last night. I can't quit thinking about him. He had no family with him--someone found him in the street and brought him into camp, and he had a horrible gash on his leg, which was sutured and wrapped. He fell asleep on my knee after he was given a pain injection, and I got up to go help two little girls who had broken limbs. When I went back to check on him, his breathing was so labored and having trouble breathing. The doctor tried to reinflate his lungs, but he died in my lap.

I was playing with Bennett and Will yesterday and I had to stop and just compose myself thinking of that 8 year old boy who died away from his Mother. Bennett crawled in my lap and said, "You okay, Mommy?" and I held her for as long as she would let me.

I don't have answers. Just pray. Thank you so much to those of you that sent me e-mails about my last blog post. If only 10 people read this post and if 2 of those 10 gave $25 because they read this, then maybe I will have helped in a tiny way. Thank you to those of you that have called me as well. In fact, I heard from an old friend I haven't talked to in over a year who shares my burden and she and I are going to start praying together about what we can do (Hi, Melissa! I'm praying.)

Please donate money. Help stuff relief kits. When the time is right, consider joining a team flying to Haiti to help. Just pray. That is the best thing you can do. I can't reiterate enough- this country was in desperate need of help before this happened. What it needs now is a miracle. And it just so happens that I am a big believer in miracles.