Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Well, at least I think they're cute

Unless you absolutely have to take your small children with you to get your oil changed, don't do it. Ever. I, unfortunately had no choice. I headed to the local jiffy lube ready for war. I had 6 books, 3 packs of snacks, 2 bottles, 2 rattles, 3 diapers, and one Elmo phone. Before you judge, remember that oil change waiting rooms are tiny, dirty, and you are usually there for 45 minutes.

In my waiting room I found 2 poor unsuspecting fellow motorists. One was a very nice elderly gentleman. One was a grumpy middle aged woman. I will make a long 45 minute story very short, but all I can say is I didn't think all 3 of us were going to make it out alive. I was hedging my bets on which member of my family was going to get left behind and all signs pointed to Will. At least he wasn't driving everyone there crazy and I had to drive the car home, so I think it would have been him.

Bennett ran everywhere, she climbed on tables, she pushed on doors, she followed the Jiffy lube men to their computers, she ran in the bathroom, she threw 1998 editions of Woman's Day everywhere, and she demanded that the elderly gentleman read to her. And where was I? Holding the crying 2 month old, trying to feed the 2 month old, and convincing Mr. Jiffy Lube that I didn't need the $80 oil.

At one point grumpy woman looked at me and said, "When my kids were your age, I never would have brought them to a place like this." I almost said, "Well, I was going to leave them at home, but my golden lab didn't feel like watching them today." Grumpy lady gasped every time Bennett touched or threw anything so I was kind of glad when Bennett ran up to her, touched her shirt, and yelled, "Mickey Mouse!" Why did this make me happy? Because the Disney character hung on her shirt in such a way that Bennett actually frisked this woman.

The woman was so shocked all she could say was, "MY children never watched videos until they were 2." I did say, "Well, my child doesn't watch Mickey Mouse either. She only knows that because he's on her diaper. But she does watch Clifford every day. And she loves him." She looked at me in horror, and then turned her attention to Bennett who was gleefully tossing magazines up the air. While standing on a coffee table.

Needless to say I didn't get my windshield wiper blades replaced. We got out of there as fast as we could, and we went home to watch Clifford. I will be buying a Mickey Mouse DVD tomorrow.

7 comments:

Christine said...

I love your stories. They are SO funny. You are much better at holding your tongue than I would be!

Anna said...

oh. my. word!!!! i would have had a FEW more words for that mean old lady! i read your post out loud to paul, and he was horrified that she was so rude to you!!! i am so sorry you had such a rotten, horrible 45 minutes! oh...and i'd NEVER take my child a place like that nor do i EVER let her watch TV...EVER! HA! Ha! ha! NOT! I hope you dont have to venture back to Jiffy Lube for a very long 3,000 miles! hugs!!!!

The Khans said...

Oh my goodness. That is crazy Lauren. Doesn't she understand that sometimes you have no other choice. We can't always do errands when our husbands are home. I don't think I would have held it together as well as you did.

Brittny said...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!! And I'm very proud of you for holding your tongue like you did. People like her have children who are now doing things that would shock her OR they aren't speaking to her anymore. Did they not let you stay in the car? I think I've always insisted on staying in the car b/c it's much easier to keep them strapped down then to chase them around.

Carmen & Eddie said...

You have great control over your mouth!!! I would have said a little more to the grumpy, holier than thou middle age woman!!

Carmen Andres said...

you go, girl!!

Amy said...

Hahaha! I love it! This made my day! If you did not find a Mickey Mouse dvd, I will happily send you one :)