Denial

Maybe if I just sit and think really hard and imagine that my house is entirely packed up, the medical records have been picked up, the oil has been changed in the car, the utilities have been cancelled, the much needed subscription to People magazine has been forwarded, the suitcases have been packed for the road trip, the insurance agents have been called, and the house has been cleaned for the renters, then it will really happen. Because heaven knows I am certainly not doing any of those things. Why would I when there's a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer and a re-run of "The Office" on? I mean, really. Would you?

Santa baby

Christmas is over. The tree is down. The halls have been undecked and now we are packing up to head to KC. We leave on Saturday, but I am not ready to think about that yet. My head is still floating in cranberries, candy canes, and Bing Crosby.

Bennett had a wonderful first Christmas at her cousins house. Santa thought she was a very good girl this year, but really, she just liked the paper. In fact, Santa could have brought her a roll of wrapping paper and she would have been in heaven. The fun fact about this weekend is that she walked!!! If you hold on to her hands, she can easily walk from the couch to the table or from one side of her crib to the other. She isn't just kicking in place, but taking steps. And she can walk the length of her pack and play and the back again holding on to the sides. Very exciting!

Here are a few shots from our week. And oh yeah, ROB'S HOME! That was the best present of all.

The night before we headed to my sister's house, we took Bennett to the zoo to see the lights with my parents. It was rather cold that night so we had to bust out her KC outerwear a little early.

My sister reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to all the girls. What are we going to do if this new baby is a boy? He's going to hate family get togethers.

Bennett checking out the loot from Santa.

Getting a Christmas morning kiss. Kisses and cheerios. There's not much better than that.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas is extra special because Daddy's home.

5 More Hours!!

Rob comes home today! We made it. And as I write this I know many people have husbands or wives who travel all the time or who are deployed for a whole lot longer than this, so I know how lucky we are. But since Rob and I have been married, we have never been apart for more than two days, so it will be very nice to have him home. Bennett needs so much attention right now and the new little one kicks my tail every morning when I am over the sink and every afternoon when I can't hold my head up straight. Thank goodness for my Mom. I could not have done this without her. She has been so kind to let me nap when she could, and watch Bennett so I could participate in our Christmas production at church. Thank you so much, Mom.

But I think it has been hard for other reasons. I think this has been a time when I needed my husband more than ever. Moving is stressful. Moving across the country is very stressful. Leaving my home and saying good-bye to all of my friends has been so hard. I had lunch and dinner last night with dear friends and it is so hard knowing I may only see them once a year. I am on my way out now to have brunch at the house of a lady who has been like a mentor to me. I don't want to say good-bye to her and her family. I was so sad my last day at work on Sunday. I love my job and have been there for 6 years. So, the combination of everything has not made for the best holiday season, but I still know that the Lord's hand is in all of this.

Plus, did I mention that Rob is coming home in FIVE HOURS!!!!????

Just what I needed

So I open my door the other day and there is a box on my doorstep. It is from my sweet friend Courtney. Court and I were close friends in college. She was an angel then and apparently she is still an angel today. She had been reading my blog and noticed that I was feeling blue with Rob gone for a month and so she sent me a care package. I was so surprised when I opened her box and found the sweetest note about how she had been thinking about me and wanted to cheer me up. So she filled the box with this.

She had notes written on everything and I spent the longest time reading her notes and thanking the Lord for sending encouragement my way when I needed it the most. She sent goodies for Bennett, a photo album so I could fill it with pictures of Rob, and sleeper for B that says, "Daddy's girl," a pedicure set for me, and even little baby booties for the new baby. Her note on that one said, "These are for the days when baby bean is kicking butt and taking names. A quick look at these will make it all seem ok."

Have I mentioned that I love her!!? And she has an extremely busy job, a toddler, and a baby. I was just blown away and I wanted to thank her publicly for being so thoughtful and encouraging to me. It is a good reminder to me that I need to be aware of what others in my life are going through. Knowing that she just read my blog and took the time to do that astounds me. There are those in my life that I talk to constantly that could use some encouraging as well, but I rarely take the time to really find out how they are. Or to take it a step further and write them a note. Or send a pick me up in the mail. Thanks, Courtney for reminding me what it is to be the hands and feet of Christ. I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Santa? I KNOW HIM!

Ah, yes. Our first photo with Santa. Questions were running rampant in my mind. Would he terrify her? Would she scream and call out, "Mamamama?" Would we wait 5 hours in line? Would it cost $140? However, none of my fears were met as Bennett loved Santa, there was virtually no line, and it only cost about what you would expect an overpriced photo to cost. Of course I don't have the official photo posted on here. You had to pay for that one and my stupid scanner is broken. Again. So, here are a few Daddy took from the sidelines. Mommy was on the floor looking like an idiot trying to make Bennett smile, but in turn making Santa realize that Mommy really needs a gift certificate to a spa this year.

What's up big guy? You are and I are going to be great friends.

I'd like some teeth and some hair. Thanks.

I really wish that she weren't so comfortable with strangers.

My little elf

Bennett had her nine month check up today. So what if she will be ten months next week? We do what we can, right? So the good news is that her length is 28 3/4. That puts her in the 80% for length. The surprising news is that her weight is 16lbs 9oz. That puts her in the 8% for weight!!! Good thing I took her three weeks late for her nine month. If I had taken her three weeks ago she might not have been on the charts. But the doctors assured me that she was fine and he blood cell count was good and indicative that she was growing. Her head circumference is also in the eighth percentile. But, that's all brain, so I'm cool with that.

Saying Good-bye

I met some of the kids of my TV show, "Chain Reaction 222" for dinner last night. We met at Stevie B's pizza of course. That's where we went every month to wrap up an episode and celebrate that we had another one in the can. I cannot say enough about how much I am going to miss these kids and the show itself. I got hooked on children's theatre when I spent a summer in Pennsylvania performing at a theatre near Philadelphia. We had to do a children's show every Saturday morning and from then on I was hooked. I travelled with the Missoula Children's Theatre for a year and a half all over the US and Europe and I have taught acting lessons to kids here in Montgomery for 5 years at a local performing arts center.

But I must say that this TV show has been one of the best experiences of my life. It combined every one of my passions which included children, drama, editing, writing, and directing into one production. I loved seeing kids excited about drama. I loved teaching kids who wanted to use their talents to tell other kids about the Lord. I loved kids at home thinking it was cool to be a Christian or cool to be in the arts. I loved everything about it and to say that I will miss the show and these kids is a huge understatement.

Here are just a few of the way too many pictures I took last night. I will continue to pray for each of these kids and I am so excited to stay in touch with them and see what the future has in store.

Reunited

for a few days at least.

Dad's home!!!

Rob is here for a whirlwind 43 hour visit. And of those 43 hours I have to be at the church for about 12 of them. Oh, well. I would be thrilled to have him here even if it were for only 5 minutes. Someone else got to get up last night to give Bennett a lost paci and someone else held her and played with her while I took a long shower!! She has been rubbing his beard all morning and saying, "DaDa." All order has been restored to our world. Well, at least for another day and a half. We are off in a few minutes for Bennett's first picture with Santa and for a day of just being together before he has to leave again. But we sure are glad he's home for now.

A life of crime

What do you do in Montgomery on a Sunday night when you are bored? Go to a movie? No. Sneak in some early Christmas shopping? No. Grab coffee and discuss existentialism vs marxism? No, you go rolling. And to make it even better, you use your 9 month old as an accomplice. Here are some photos from our "big" night out (or pathetic, depending on your point of view.) And no, Rob did not come back just to give our daughter a rap sheet before her first birthday. The mischief was done the weekend before he left.

Getting ready to roll

Anthony's car was our number one target

Busted

Number 9 on Montgomery's most wanted list

Next up was the Segars house. They got egged. We laughed and drove away. They didn't even notice. We had to call them and tell them. We're old.

Missing Daddy

Can a 9 month old really be aware that her Daddy hasn't been home for 5 days? I am not sure, but I think Bennett is catching on to that. Rob left on Saturday and for the first few days everything was completely normal. But then, yesterday, I think it hit us all. Even the unborn one. Maybe it was all of the Christmas shows on TV that made me sentimental, maybe it was the fact that Bennett refused to nap all day, maybe it was because I was bent over a trash can for a good part of the day, but yesterday was rough.

We hooked up our webcam again last night to see Rob. The first time Bennett squealed and stared at the computer in awe. When she saw him last night, she burst into tears. I think I did too. And in her nine months of life she has never slept in our bed. She has been in a bassinet in our room, but never in our bed. Since Rob has been gone, she has slept there twice. I think she misses her goodnight songs with the guitar or the funny muppet song Daddy sings to her at night. I am not sure, but when I put her to bed in her crib, she has pulled up on the sides and called out for me. She then yells, "Mamamama" until I pick her up and carry her to bed with me. Then she relaxes, sighs, and holds my finger. I think she needs me more than ever. And I think her Mom feels the same way about her.

Scoreboard

For those of you keeping score at home, here is how it is panning out at our house.

The new baby- making Mom really sick and tired. And pretty grouchy too.

Bennett- Still a lovable delight who never cries, but she is crawling everywhere and into everything therefore keeping Mom on her toes all day long.

Mom- in desperate need of a day at the spa. No day at spa in sight.

So, the official score as of today is:

Baby Bean-3, Bennett-2, Mom-0

Phase One

Rob left for Kansas City on Saturday evening. I am almost relieved in a way. Not that he's gone, but that the move is finally starting to happen. We have known about this since September and it has been almost like taking a band aid off very slowly. It has been painful and hard, and emotionally, I am just ready to go.

It was hard being at church yesterday without him. I missed him terribly. I would walk through the atrium and he wouldn't be up on the plasma screens, or I would walk in the green room expecting him to be there laughing with someone on the couch... it was hard. But it was a wonderful morning and I couldn't have been prouder of Jerrod and the praise band. They sounded amazing and I am so excited for Rob to hear them when he comes back to get me in a few weeks.

Our house hasn't sold yet. We have come close twice. One person had us in their top five and another in their top two, but they decided to go with a brand new house. It's draining. Being pregnant and having a newborn, I definitely feel the nesting instinct. I wish more than anything that we could move to KC and move into a home. I am thankful that the Lord provided a rental house that we could afford, but it will be hard living there indefinitely. I am a very organized person so the thought of a cramped house full of boxes with no end date set is hard. I would love to be able to get two nurseries ready and to baby proof the house with safety gates and locks. But at the same time, I have been to other countries and parts of Montgomery where people live in horrific conditions, so I feel ungrateful for saying that because I know how much the Lord has blessed us with.

Keep praying for us. Bennett is crawling everywhere. She will be in another room in 20 seconds if you aren't watching her. I am extremely sick with this new baby as well. I have felt a lot more tired and nauseous than I did with Bennett. Money is tight with a mortgage, rent, moving expenses, and now two kids. And also, I will be leaving my job, my home, all of my friends and my family in just a few weeks. But other than that, we don't have much going on. :-) I heard a quote recently that I love. It says, "I know it says that God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."